Mrs.
Duck and The Woman
This is a story I wrote
within weeks of my son's
death. I was literally sitting
down at Gas Works Park near
Lake Union when a duck came
out of the water and sat
next to me. I took out my
journal and began writing
and didn't stop for over
20 minutes.
The result of that writing is the book Mrs. Duck and The Woman. Other than changing the gender of the deceased child in the story so that any parent could identify with it, the story is pretty much exactly as I "free wrote" it that day. The "literary" folks in my life don't believe me when I tell them that, but I swear it is true.
This is a story of how to put one foot in front of the other and just keep living in the honor and memory of your child -- even in the middle of the overwhelming pain. A good starting place for helping parents see that they can still be parents, still have their children making a difference in this world, even after death.
Flash
of Life
This is a narrative collection
of free verse poetry --
that means it doesn't rhyme
and it tells a story in
a narrative order -- that
was written during my pregnancy
and after my son's stillbirth.
This book includes photos of me when pregnant AND a photo of my son after his birth. It is a helpful way to share the insight with professionals, friends, and family -- even those who are currently expecting and may encounter something similar to our stillbirth -- that the baby is a baby who is beautiful and looks as though he were sleeping. When my time came to be with my son, I didn't hold him because I was afraid he'd look like "death" (whatever that looks like) -- so I really recommend the sharing of photos of our stillborns to make them real and not-at-all-scary to people.
The pregnancy story is included here as a way of making the reader have an investment in the "character" in the story who dies half way through the narrative. But tender, grieving parents may want to skip that and go straight to the grief poems for a look at one family's navigation through life after child death.
At the back of the book, we've included a resource guide for finding online and offline support. These are all supports that we have checked out, used, or had some contact with over the years. I've done my best to make sure they are safe and positive supports.
Different
Kind of Parenting: zine
for parents whose children
have died
This is a long-term, on-going
project which came out of
my frustration with parenting
magazines after my son's
death. All those magazines
I voraciously read when
I was pregnant, were woefully
unhelpful after his death.
And yet I felt in my gut
that I was still a parent
who needed support! So instead
of looking for one of them
to help me, I decided to
help myself and other bereaved
parents by making my own
parenting magazine.
This is a quarterly, print zine that is available in single copy for $2 or by subscription for $8/year. It includes helpful articles, reviews, and memorials. While I often write all the contributions, we do sometimes get guest contributors - and I'm always open to more! - who offer articles about a range of issues specific to bereaved parents. We cover everything from keeping your child's memory honored during family holidays to self care and being gentle with yourself on the dark days -- from perspectives on grief over many years (decades) to the personality of grief support groups. Sometimes we have book or film reviews on items that address child death in some way.
Every issue is different. Every issue is about parenthood after the death of a child. Every issue is offered with resource & support in mind and heart.
As
always, be in touch if we can be of
help or services in some way!
info@kotapress.com
