Forever
changed
You tell me to move on
You tell me not to cry
You tell me I have got to get a grip
Get out you say
Enjoy the sunshine
Feel life again
They look at me funny
Like I have grown two heads
Like I am so very different
I make them uncomfortable
Andrew you make them uncomfortable
Tell me why?
Why is it so difficult?
To see my broken heart
To see my wounded soul
A part of me was amputated
It is gone
Tiptoe around you
Let’s make this easy for you
You’re uncomfortable for 10 minutes
I live this everyday, every moment
Tell me my friend
What is it you want from me?
You want me to smile?
When I smile do you think I
Forget?
When I laugh do you think I
Forget?
You don’t know what to say?
I don’t know what to say?
Just please, please be patient with me
Take my hand
Hold my hand
Don’t say a word
Just let me know
You are here
We shall sit
Maybe we will talk
Just listen
Don’t judge
Let me talk about my baby
Let me say it a million times
Over and over
Just listen
Let me cry if I need the tears
Don’t say you understand
Because you don’t
Just quietly be my friend
Editor's Note:
Angela is a bereaved parent who sent me email one day and then was kind
enough to share this poem with me. I felt the need to give it space and
voice here because the message of this poem is one that every family member,
friend, and co-worker to a bereaved parent should heed. You don't have
to fix anything for us. You just have to be there and allow the bereaved
parent to *fully* feel whatever they feel. Don't correct them or rush
them. Don't pathologize whatever they feel or do. Just be there. And if
you can't do that, then don't put yourself in the position where you should
be offering that! Be human, not instructive, please!
