book
review by Poppy Hullings
Written by Cathy Fritea
Published by Jasmin Press, 2003
77 pages
ISBN: 0972944206
Retail Price: $10.00
Tiny Hands Change the World
by Cathy Fritea is a
real-life account of
the author’s experience
with pregnancy and stillbirth
told in poetic form. Since I
am both a poet and bereaved parent,
I had a special interest in reading
this book. Fritea uses poetry as
her vehicle to travel through
her ups and downs, from
the natural high of her
pregnancy to the unexpected
low of her son, Daniel,
dying before birth. People
who have never experienced
a death during pregnancy
can never truly realize
how it feels. Parents can
both love and grieve for
their dead children, often
simultaneously, no matter
if it‘s one week
or twenty years after the
loss. With each poem, Fritea
expresses how it feels
to be a bereaved parent
dealing with day-to-day
living while coping with
the emptiness of losing
her baby. She probably
best captures the feelings
of a bereaved parent in
the poem “The Next
Few Months“:
I’m on a teeter-totter,
I feel good, I feel bad,
I feel good, I feel bad.
I don’t know if I will
ever
feel the same.
There are also poems by
a few other bereaved parents
included in this book which
proves that what happened
to Fritea is not an isolated,
or even rare occurrence.
With thirty-something
poems, several inspiring
quotations, some Q & A
about grief and society,
and a few blank pages for
personal thoughts, this
book would be beneficial
to bereaved parents, mostly
those who have experienced
stillbirth. Family members
and friends could learn
something from the book
as well. It could also
be enlightening to almost
anyone willing to learn
more about stillbirth and
its emotional effects on
families. Fritea occasionally
references God, heaven
and angels throughout the
book so if anything about
those beliefs bother you,
this book may not be right
for you. Also, I wouldn’t
recommend this book for
young children, at least
not without parental guidance.
The book has no obscene
images or language, but
the subjects of birth and
death can be a bit much
for young people to grasp
all on their own.
If you are worried about
the poems being too hard
to understand, let me assure
you there‘s no need
to worry. Actually, by
offering the raw emotions
in bite-sized pieces (aka
poems) in a casual, almost
conversational tone, Fritea
makes the harsh reality
of child loss somewhat
easier to digest. The reader
can absorb the experiences
a little bit at a time
instead of being overwhelmed
by an ’encyclopedia’ type
book.
Author Cathy Fritea has
worked in the Health Care
Industry for over 10 years.
She created RainbowMaker
after the death of her
son, Daniel. Her work has
appeared on KotaPress.com
and in "A Different
Kind of Parenting." She
has been writing for the "Healing
Garden Journal," a
holistic magazine, since
2001. Cathy can be found
on the web at: http://www.rainbowmaker.org.
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