Poetry A - L > Kruszka, Kamala
By Kamala Kruszka
For Peter
I sit on our gazebo and remember
How I wanted to nurse you out here.
The autumn has come and cool breezes
Make the leaves shimmer through the sun
I imagine your little face
Looking up at mine
Feeling the love of the earth around you
But you are not here with me.
I walk in your room and
Tenderly take out the tiny outfits
I had chosen for you myself
“Giggle Saurus” and “Dino Friends” onesies take my breath away
I had imagined you running nude in our house
Trailing after your giggling, naked form
Squeals of delight as you were captured in my arms
But you are not here.
In the backyard Daddy was going to get you a sand box
And make sure that the spiders did not make it their home
Nor the cats another place to poop. A clean space for Baby.
We planned on having a small pool for your next summer
And to have a floatie for you to glide in.
To keep you cool during the hot, hot days.
I imagined what it would look like
To hold your little hands as you took your first steps.
You were smiling like crazy and just delighted to try.
You have moved on my precious babe
To a place I can only imagine in my mind and heart
I know that you are beyond these earthly events
A pure spirit that is no longer bound by time and place
My heart aches for you and begs for understanding
My eyes weep for missing you and not having you to gaze upon
My arms are heavy with their emptiness
For you I live my days, making the best choices to honor your name
For you I live my nights, thinking upon your beauty
For you I go on, as you have, my precious, my Peter.
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