Child Death
Stillbirth > You actually think I did not give birth?!?

By Kara L.C. Jones
KotaPress Editor

Let me tell you something: Abortion is Completely Different from Stillbirth

Gawd, I swear this American culture is the most Ack-basswards culture on the planet. Abortion is completely and totally different from stillbirth. They have absolutely nothing in common and the experiences do not compare at all -- except possibly in the expression of grief afterward if anyone cares to admit there is resultant grief after abortion. But in our idiotic American culture no one seems to get that the process of birthing a stillborn child is NOT like scheduling an appointment for an abortion!! Seems that unless a person has actually pushed a stillborn child out of her own vagina or witnessed a partner do it, then people just think, "Oh well, a fetus is a fetus." ARG!

When a woman CHOOSES to have an abortion, she DECIDES to not have the "fetus". She makes an appointment, pays her fees, goes to the clinic at the designated time, and the "procedure" is done. She goes home and our world pretends all her problems are now solved. Though I would argue that some women and couples need counseling support after the abortion, but okay, that's another story. In the meantime, they CHOSE to have that PROCEDURE done.

When a woman has a STILLBORN CHILD, she DID NOT DECIDE to have a dead child. She was pregnant. She wanted a CHILD. She planned a nursery, had a baby shower, got her kid on a playgroup waiting list, was fussed over out in public, shared months and months of experience with her partner. She wanted her child to be born alive. ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She did not choose to have a dead child! And, let me tell you something else: she freaking GAVE BIRTH!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever been with a woman who is having a stillborn??? She gives birth. She has labor pains. She screams. She has dilation. She pushes. She has an emergency c-section. She births out the placenta, cord, and dead child.

Oh, right, but you're gonna tell me that she didn't give birth. Well guess what, even women who miscarry at 21 weeks -- guess what?? They go into LABOR -- they push out fully formed bodies of their children, cords, and placenta. And in fact if they birth all that at home during the miscarriage, they are asked to save it all and bring it to the hospital!!! Do you think that family brings that child, cord, and placenta to the hospital in a garbage bag?? Do you think they feel like they are just taking refuse to the dump when they do this?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THEY ARE TRANSPORTING THEIR DEAD CHILD WHO THEY WANTED AND PLANNED FOR TO THE GODD*MNED HOSPITAL!

Oh, right, but you're gonna tell me that she didn't give birth and so why should any women like her get birth certificates? Why should any of us be treated as parents? And when your mother dies, guess what? I'm going to stop acknowledging you as her child, because come on now, she's dead. Why should you still have status as someone's child?

Grow up, people. Look at the rest of the world. Australia, in particular, where they are very clear that abortion is a completely different thing than stillbirth. It isn't that hard. We just need all you feminists to step up to the plate now. AND YES I AM TOO A FEMINIST! I marched for choice. That meant CHOICE FOR US ALL! You get to choose your abortion. I get to choose to have my child. If my child happens to be stillborn, then I should get the choice to have my birthing process, labor, and/or c-section recognized. I did not march for your choice alone. I marched for EVERYONE'S CHOICES! Come on, now, it's time you stepped up for me, too.

WA State MISSing Angels Bill Update

Liz Allen is doing amazing work to make this happen in WA state!! Please check out the new WA state blog:

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