Dictionary of Loss
Dictionary of Loss:  J - K - L


Jeeter Beans , n. 1. These are the imaginary beans the bereaved are pelting [in their minds] at the dumb person who insists on saying things like, "No, you mean you were a parent." OR "Well, yes of course you are still his mother, but you aren't really a mother because you can't physically care for him." 2. These are the small rocks the bereaved carry in their pockets at all times, and they are used to sort out what issues belong to whom. For instance, when someone says to the bereaved, "I think you need to stop talking about this now because they used to tell us your grandmother was crazy because she insisted on talking about her dead children." So the bereaved takes a jeeter bean out of his or her pocket, hands it to the clueless person, and replies, "Here. I think the fear of insanity is your issue, not mine."

Jello, n. 1. Like the wiggling and wobbling of jello, there are days when one's body feels weak like jello due to the emotional and physical stresses grief can bring at any day or time. [Example: On her angelversary, my body is total jello.]


Kite Escape Moment, n. 1. Like a kite floating in the wind above all the chaos life can bring, bereaved parents sometime get a feeling like a kite escape moment, wanting to get away, for only a moment, before they must real themselves back in to the realities of life.

Knowledge of the Biting Reality, n. 1. Knowing in your head that children can die, that your spouse can die, that anything can happen, anything is a possibility but not really realizing that it could happen to you nor considering what you will do if it does happen. (Author note: This is purely a rational, intellectual knowledge.)


Life Altering, n. 1. Moments that change our lives forever.

The Look, n. 1. The expression of sheer terror seen on people's faces when you enter the room anytime after your child has died. May be caused by a loss for words, or perhaps the vague feeling that one might catch some invisible germ that could cause the death of their own precious child.

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